4 Min Read
A Simple Framework to Help Manage Your Life and Reach Your Goals
Most men are awful at managing their lives, and it's estimated that 90% of us never reach our goals because of it.
When we let ourselves get distracted by everyday life, it's easy to take our eyes off the ball. It seems like one crisis follows another, and instead of working on want we want from life, we get bogged down in the muck.
We check our phones as soon as we wake up, and other people's problems instantly become our priority. We lack structure and have difficulty saying "No" because of it.
Use this simple framework to help you get the most out of life.
What is success to you?
Every person has different dreams and aspirations. What you consider success, someone else may call failure, and vice versa.
Society defines success as:
Is that really what you want, or is it what society tells you to want?
It's not that society's definition of success isn't desirable, but those things are the byproducts of success. They're not tangible goals.
Money and power only come through being successful at something else. On the other hand, fame can be achieved by simply doing something stupid on the internet, but that's probably different from the success you're seeking.
Define what success is to you, or somebody will define it for you.
You must first give
American culture wires us always to ask, "What's in it for me?" But we succeed differently.
Your definition of success should align with your purpose. To do that, ask yourself this question: "Why am I here, and how can I help?"
Zig Ziglar, widely considered one of the world's best sales trainers, famously said, "Help enough people get what they want, and eventually, you'll get what you want."
Quit comparing yourself to others
What's your scoreboard for success? Rich, powerful, and famous are how the world keeps score, but that doesn't define you.
Comparison is a trap when:
- We compare ourselves to others.
- We compare ourselves to who we think we should be.
- We want to be viewed as successful by others.
In the end, comparison is a roadblock to success. It's choosing someone else's definition.
Develop an internal scoreboard by which you measure your success. Don't let the world keep score for you.
Stop seeking recognition
If you're not competing on the world's scoreboard; often your accomplishments go unnoticed. Your success may be invisible to outsiders, and that's okay.
Most people envy the success of others and are only waiting for you to make a mistake so they can feel better about their own lives.
You don't need to prove anything to anyone except yourself. As with most achievements; recognition comes at the end.
The first step to accomplishing anything is simply getting started. Too often, we feel like we're not ready, and everything needs to perfectly fall into place before taking that first step.
Regardless of the endeavor, you must walk before you can run, and your first steps build the foundation of your journey.
Great success is the culmination of consistent yet deceptively small actions.
Few great achievements happened without several setbacks in the process. If we recognize failure as feedback and use it for improvement, was it really a failure?
If you happen to reach your goals without realizing at least minor failures, it's likely that you didn't challenge yourself enough.
Think about the guy you know that succeeds at everything. Guys like that usually brag about things like, "I've never interviewed for a job that I didn't get offered." Do you think that's because he's great at everything or is always picking the low-hanging fruit?
When we challenge ourselves, we will fail, at least occasionally. Learn from it.
Find joy in the process
Life is about the journey, not the destination. That phrase may be a cheesy cliché, but that doesn't make it untrue.
Most people think winning the lottery would be a dream come true, but its reality is quite different. Many lottery winners suffer from depression, and stress, finding themselves bankrupt a few years after their big win. Why?
There were no incremental achievements, and they're rich, not successful. They got lucky and know they didn't earn it. There's no way to sustain luck. Their lives are mostly the same as before lightning struck their bank account. Notorious B.I.G. said it best, "Mo Money Mo Problems."
The process of reaching your dreams is wrought with issues that make the small victories invaluable.
Do you think Jeff Bezos found more joy working in his garage when that first dollar from Amazon hit his bank account or while flying in his private jet looking at his net worth hit $100 billion? The latter was probably a lavish party, but that first dollar likely created more joy than the next billion combined.
If you can't embrace the process and enjoy the journey, the odds are that you'll quit before achieving much.
You get to choose whether to focus on the process or the results. Choose the process, and you'll win regardless of the outcome.
Anther. Male wellness where it counts.